Sparky and His Friend

I was standing in total shock at the foot of a hospital bed looking into the face of my dearest, closest, friend, Roy Wolff, whom I have been privileged to know for 57 years. Roy is the only person left alive who knew my parents and my brother and, thanks to the acceptance of brolove in our culture today we are able to tell one another, without hesitation, that we love one another.

He is my age (75) and also has heart problems with Atrial Fib as I do. He was lying uncomfortably in a hospital bed in an intensive rehabilitation Hospital and he had aged at least 10 years since I saw him a few months ago. He suffered a stroke, fell to the floor and it was four hours before he could struggle to reach a phone. He has left side residual paralysis and is in obvious physical discomfort. His left arm is essentially paralyzed and he tries over and over again to get it to respond only to be faced with failure. His face was pale and he had lost more than 30 pounds. When I first called him on the phone just after learning of his stroke, I was unable to understand him and I was very relieved that his speech has improved enormously.

In addition to my great concern about Roy, I was sharply aware that I was looking into my face lying in that hospital bed. What had happened to Roy could also have happened to me and, indeed, may be something that I have to realize may be in my future.

His close companion of more than 10 years was with him and Monique can appropriately be called an Angel of Mercy. She feeds him his soup in tiny spoonfuls, assists him to the bathroom and coordinates all the services that the hospital offers. She does this with obvious pride over the fact that she is able to offer her compassion to him and it is beautiful to observe.

Roy was quick to point out to me that the stroke is not affected his mind and he proceeded to quote Kipling, Henry Vth, and Omar Khyyam to me with obvious and appropriate pride. Of course we got into one of our ongoing debates about politics and the dubious applicability of the scientific method. Monique and I watched us and she was very moved to see Roy's complexion improve and the sparkle come back into his eyes as he was talking to me, and when I left he told me how wonderful it had been to talk to me in our old-style of loving disagreement.

I was able to keep it together until I said goodbye to Roy and walked out the door and proceeded to burst into tears in the Nurse’s Station. Monique did not have to say word but she held me until I could gain some control over my emotions.

I know that what I learned as a result of visiting my dear friend will be a lesson that will take me some time to understand but I know that the end result will be to leave me both sadder and wiser in that order.

I wish to publicly acknowledge my deep gratitude to my dear friend Michael Gottdenker who provided me with angel wings to speed me on my journey.