I've long considered myself as having a micro-analytic mindset when working as a psychotherapist. By this I mean that I am fully engaged with the person in front of me and my toolkit consists of microsurgery, bone grafts and sutures necessary to repair the psychic injuries on an individual basis. In this context, I call myself a “lapidarian reconstructionist.”
This precludes, of course, any standard treatment format as each approach is unique to the client in front of me. In fact, the client and I must develop a vocabulary and a language between us before anything begins to make sense. This is, of course, a joint process. In addition to me needing to learn the client’s idiom, the client is equally challenged to learn mine.
This interaction is directly related to the fact that I cannot see children as clients. They are simply too vulnerable and are dependent on the big people in their environment for nurturance and security. Since I have little, if any, control over those external parameters, I choose not to engage.
While I deeply respect people who have a macro orientation and are able to think of mass movements and social advocacy, I don't even think in those terms. I cannot, for example, look at pictures of children starving to death in a refugee camp but have to look away to protect myself and my feelings of helplessness. I have functioned with this orientation for many years and have only recently come to see and appreciate a somewhat different perspective. I have stumbled upon a conceptual framework that I call “circles of compassion.”
This allows me to shift from a single micro-focus to a psychotherapeutic group seeking to put together an intentional family for mutual support and growth. I have realized, given this new perspective, that I constantly monitor this circle of compassion and am very careful with inclusionary or exclusionary criteria before I will allow people into what I consider to be sacred space.
I have no idea what took me so long to get to this enlightened state. Maybe it was there all along but I was not able to find the words to describe the phenomenon. This in no way changes my concept of myself as a wounded healer but enables me to expand upon my definition and I humbly offer it for your consideration.
6 comments:
Gracias por los ninos?
Compassion is a circle.
Gracias
Chago
Sparky
I’m reading Dos Passos´ USA trilogy. I must say I find it at least as good as Farewell to Arms. Upton Sinclair´s Jungle was a bit too dark for me. And Steinbeck is still top on my list- he somehow always finds the compassion and humor in any situation.
Because I have a home office, some patients think that they can call me 24-7. That´s why I bought an answering machine. Like everyone else in this world, I need my space too. And I’m the one who gets to say just how much I need and when I need it.
You might find Oliver Sack´s The Leg an interesting read during your recuperation.
Once again- you send me to the dictionary: Lapidarian – carved in stone.
Looking forward to reading your insightful gems.
As always,
Larry
Sparky,
I'm so glad to see you back on the blog & I'm glad you're feeling better. I look forward to hearing about your surgical adventure(s).
In regard to your post, I actually consider myself to be quite the opposite, in which I constantly take a macro view (in the sense that, when I was a kid, my goal in life was to "save the world") and I have had to teach myself to becoming more specified and that, even helping one person can be considered saving that specific person's world. I'm glad to see that other people deal with this too. :)
Ann Marie
Dear Chago,
As you usually do, you were exactly to the point. Of course my children and grandchildren are in the circle of compassion. Thank you for alerting me to this important addition.
Always great to hear from you,
Sparky
Dear Larry,
Thank you for your always educational comments. I relate strongly to John Steinbeck as well.
I agree that negotiating our individual space is an important responsibility. Thanks for the Oliver Sack reference. I will check it out. Thank you for your positive comments as always.
Sparky
Dear Ann-Marie,
Thank you for your feedback, I promise you will hear further of Sparky's surgical adventures.
I quickly spotted you as a macro and nothing between us since then has changed my mind I think it fascinating that you seem to be able to merge the two and consider helping an individual in a micro sense as contributing to the macro. I will think about this carefully.
Thank you for being in my life,
Sparky
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